Twelve years ago, I was terrified of hell. It's probably why it took so much...I hesitate to use the word "agony," but it was - before I became an atheist. For years after my (literal) awakening, though, I was scared of death much less, if at all. But something made me terrified of it, just for a moment, maybe fifteen minutes ago.

I saw an ad on Youtube (Youtube has ads before videos again >:( ) in which theoretical physicist Michio Kaku (mixed feelings about him) oozed excitedly about advances that could give our brains access to the Internet's worth of knowledge, or "perfect" bodies. I, unsurprisingly, hold out hope I could get whole bodily functionality back, and if I could upload "me" to a machine...but what if that technology is achieved after I die?

Nothing has changed in my life's trajectory, really - it wasn't sure to happen for me, and it's still not - but for a second, I despaired at my mortality.